Heartbreak. The first woman to break my heart was a friend in college. I thought we would be besties but they distanced themselves from me when I started questioning my sexuality.  I had never been rejected by someone who I thought knew me and understood me so well. Never imagined they would stop talking to me just because I wasn’t as straight as I thought i was or as straight as we were taught to be. I miss them hope they’re well. Friends can break your heart as badly as lovers this is the lesson she taught me. 

Heat Rises

Fire flames and heat rise in the pit of my stomach when I see you

when I think about How you stabbed me with your words

How you sliced me with your phrases and crucified me with a look of indignation

They don’t know but I do

They can’t see but I can

secrets lies and old wounds oh how they burn

They molt through the lining of my belly , melt down my pride and expose my shame

Now the high temperatures of my anger are eroding my joy

and stripping me of my happiness

Leaving me naked and bare

I have nothing left to give

As a flaming ball of anger is how I live

Don’t come to close i just might explode

My frustrations will spill over onto you and corrupt your peace

Contort it and transform your contentment into resentment

Because my satisfaction has been spent

I can feel heat rising as you walk my way

and the fire of hurt as you cross my path

There is a flame that fans every time you smile

and a tear that falls when I think about how I said goodbye

The fire was started by the hurt you vocalized

and the wrongs you say I perpetrated?

and though it is at my hands that this inferno is orchestrated

It is at the sight of you that it is elated.

 -dirtyartboi 2013