Not Another Tape

Not Another Tape

Not Another Tape!
Not another state sanctioned assination
Not another black body to mourn.
There is a grieving happen all over this place.
This grief is for the pigmented ones…
our sister brother cousin ones
often suppressed, miseducated, envied yet hated ones
…it feels like a permeant state this grief.
How do you live when we always dying?
How you living … we crying?
To love under oppression is to be in a constant state of grief, lost, sadness, anger?
Fatha Baldwin named it a constant state of rage.

This rage is blazing in the bellies of us the tired ,fighting, resisting, ones
Yea you I feel you raging, you the fired up and ain’t taking it no more ones.
The old, young, wild, free, bold, queer, conscious and laying your bodies on the gears, facing fear, protesting, yelling, campaigning, demanding, and building a better world, ones.
This rage is a flame burning in the hearts of weeping mothers who’ve buried children shot down by these systems.
There is a grieving happen all over this place.
This grief is for the pigmented ones…
our sister brother cousin ones.
Targeted by too many violent system ones.

This grief is radiating from all us.
The ones who hurt when people hurt.
Those who feel powerless to stop the assault on black, brown, poor, and anybody who refuses to bow to state violence.
There is a grieving happening all over this place accompanied by a battle cry.
One moment we’re crying the next fighting.
When you’re done crying how and why
on the backs of those tears
are what now …lets go… can’t stop now… . ‪#‎strugglecontinues‬ ‪#‎DiryArtBoi‬

 

 

Let Our Love

Nestled in the glow of our brown tones side by side,  Her curls ticked my nose, the softness of her cheeks warm my body. With her fists she gently beats on my chest and whispers “I just don’t want to be here anymore.”Had to pull her closer as my body silently rang back… “Me neither.”

I’ve held too many people as they weep for their lives. Thirsty for a reason to stay. Silently screaming. Floating on smiles saying “I’m fine” while everything within wants to die.

If you didn’t hear me  before please hear me now. We need you. Please love please don’t go!  Let’s make our love everything we need to survive.

Let’s love like we’re our own life rafts
built to survive the moments when the waves of sadness come crashing down. Just Let our love. Even when the weight of the world shallows our breaths and bends our backs into prayers and depression. We will find the strength to stand again through the doors unlocked by the moans of our sex magic. Let our love as our bodies collide, sing, and stir divinity together.

Let’s love like we’re our own foundation rooted in the beauty sparked
when our minds touch. My body aches to hear you speak in the moments when we merge. Let our love be our favorite melody in the key of healing. Soothing Restoring Creativity. Please don’t rob me of the freedom I feel when you sing to me. Just let our love carry us like the clever sting of a good read with the power of sharp words.

Love, please hear me now. I need you to survive.
I’ve held too many people as they weep for their lives. Thirsty for a reason to stay. Silently screaming. Floating on smiles saying “I’m fine”  while everything within wants to die.  Love please don’t go. Let’s be everything we need to survive.

More Than Justice

Ruins

-Sunrise selfie on Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA

FreshRootbeer

Full Moon in Pieces got me all in my feelings.

Was telling her how much I miss her and this happened…

I can’t wait to kiss your lips and hold you close

feel you relax in my arms

In those moments we merge.

and its an honor being your safe space.

I don’t mind getting lost in you from time to time

My heart needs a regular dose.

Let me escape within our bond.

I need to escape into our love

It reminds some of the most broken parts of me

theres no healer like our black queer love

Theres no love like the melodies I feel in the arms of you…

a beautiful Black Womyn.

We are fun and around the way like FreshRootbeer

Country and comforting like Pickled Okra

Quirky and Dorky like GumbBall Cartoons.

Can’t wait to celebrate our love in person again soon.

Don’t Ask Me

Please do not ask me what  I think white people should do about anything.

Cause if after living, studying, and benefiting from these systems for hundreds of years

you can’t quite seem to figure out how to undo it

or how to be accountable to interrupting it  at all times

then you really don’t want to know.

If you ask me I’m going to tell you to get on some John Brown type shit.

Donate your money , tell your friends to, or give me their numbers and go somewhere and sit down type shit.

If you haven’t dealt with your own family and  friends, aka fellow white profiteers and appropriators you’re not really serious.

If you’re willing to take jobs leading people of color to solve their own problemsyou’re the same as the blue coats on Wall Street…Bottom feeders

cloaked and disguised in the good intentions of a 501c3, fellowship, benefit, poverty perpetuating philanthropy.

You not serious you poverty pimping, neo colonist,Iggy what’s her name look a likes.

You’re addicted to our oppression.

Sneaky pop culture fiends addicted to this America Life style.

Always using and consuming us. Wannabes  dressing, talking, walking, like us.

Living to jive, sing, and rap like us.

Stomping on us trying to prosper while proving your one of the good ones.

Moving into hoods raising prices, pushing us out.

Our homes collateral damage on your journey for identity.

Please do not ask me what I think white people should do about anything.

Cause if after living, studying, and benefiting from these systems for hundreds of years

you can’t quite seem to figure out how to undo it

or how to be accountable to interrupting it at all times

then you really don’t want to know.

If watching us get murdered in these streets again and again

hearing how they’re filling the jails like slave ships, and closing schools while quoting higher unemployment rates, hasn’t cause you to burn something by now!?

You not really trying to get down.

You just want me to give you fodder for Progressive debates.

An excuse to blame corporations and republicans or some soothing words…

 you know magical salve for the cancer eating at your soul, I mean white guilt.

Don’t ask me cause if you asking you probably already know.

Come on  lets be honest  you don’t  really want to do all that

why would you want to risk so much, for me ?

Why when you can find  comfortable job, school for you kids, and peaceful protests to attend from time to time, to relieve your anxieties.

Don’t ask me shit.

Don’t look my way with your silly questions.

Don’t confuse my calm demeanor with the face of your dream  token

or my presence at your racist ass institutions with diversity formulas to ease your mind.

Cause if you ask me I’m going to tell you to get on some John Brown type shit.

If watching us get murdered in these streets again and again with no consequence.

and if hearing how they’re filling the jails like slave ships, and closing schools while quoting higher unemployment rates

hasn’t cause you to burn something by now

you not really trying to get down.

Everyday Magic is She

Nurses are magical people

You think Sabrina

You think Tabitha

Naw

that’s funny?

That’s sexism

And no it ain’t even  Hawthorne

Aunt Tee

Grandma

Your big cousin

Sister Nicki

And Aunt Joyce

every day folk magic is she.

Not a twinkle of the nose or chat with a black cat

But “bay can you,”

“baby I love you but you knew what you were doing when you did that. “

Them nonchalant spitting wisdom flexing like a Master teacher

just keepin it real cause that’s all they know, magicians.

They know how to tell you and show

At the same damn time.

Womanly manly transcending wisdom

They know your feelings before you feel them

The embodiment of the remedy.

Prayer, love, truth, and wish less ness.

Vibrating with feelings so strong

So strong

it snaps you out your foolishness

Our healers, Our mothers, our prayer warriors,

Our Nurses are magical people

You think Sabrina

You think Tabitha

Naw

that’s funny?

That’s sexism

And no it ain’t Hawthorne either

Aunt Tee

Grandma

Your big cousin

Sister Nicki and  Aunt Joyce

Our mothers are amazing

the best nurses I’ve known

every day folk magic

Is she.

Not a twinkle of the nose or chat with a black cat

But a humming hymn,Warm hug, sock it to me cake, shot of gin, or sprinkle of holy oil when needed

When they said everything would be alright we believed it.

When they survived then loved  to tell their story

the healing we received it.

Our mothers are amazing

the best nurses I’ve known

in the shadow of their pain

through the power of their love

everyday magic are we.

suffering in silence

Some of us are suffering

in silence
we have to be strong for others

constantly nursing

rarely healing

its not okay to express our pain

so we wait silently in the wings
focusing on desperately numbing feelings

 

In That Place

I fell like I just want to know what it taste like
smell it
be in it
inhale…
allow me the honor 
of being intimate
with someone who lives on your plane…
coast on your plane
upon invite
land in your inner most sacred places and be born yet again,  and again, and again
its natural  who can resist coming one more time
in that place…
are you clear where pleasure
 lies?
who knows the location of heavens
original gates?
the birth place of all
where life is desired, pleasured, conceived, cultivated, reborn, and replenished 
this. 
the last 
and the next time
every time …
in that place 

writing to survive

When no one was listening

he was writing into the doubt, frustration, thunder and shame

the hardest story to tell is that of your own
too much reflection

too much pain
the space between humbly letting truth speak for itself

and when to scream cause they refuse to speak the truth